


Eclipse's guide to playing Sburb.

by eclipseOfthemind



Category: Homestuck, If you are playing Sburb - Fandom, Read this if you want to live - Fandom, SBURB - Fandom
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-02 15:12:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14547492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eclipseOfthemind/pseuds/eclipseOfthemind
Summary: Hi, I'm Eclipse. I've played Sburb multiple times. I'm a Thief of Space, and this is my guide to surviving everyone's favorite maturity replacement!





	1. What is Sburb?

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Sburb Glitch FAQ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/340777) by [GodsGiftToGrinds](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GodsGiftToGrinds/pseuds/GodsGiftToGrinds). 



_-Rubs eyes-  
_

Ok, you know what, it's time to do this.

Hello, I'm Eclipse, I've survived SBurb. This is my guide to surviving both premedium, postmedium, and while in the medium.

As the title asks, what is SBurb?

As for what it is, it's a full immersion videogame. It takes place within the real world, and is distributed to certain universes. The exact pattern is unknown, as we only have this one (And another, I'll get to that later) to work on, yet it is known to be multidimensional. It will be delivered to at least 2 people, and requires at least one to play. It comes in disk form primarily, requiring a computer to play. 

WITH ALL THAT DONE, THE FUN STUFF.

Firstly, you will probably die, if you don't know what you're doing. Secondly, everyone else not playing will die, even if you do know what you're doing.

Let me remind you this game is rated T. For Teen. TEENS, INCLUDING THIS ONE, CAN PLAY THIS GAME. THAT WILL END LIFE AS WE KNOW IT. AND THEM. WHAT THE HELL. [/freakout]

Do not start SBurb unless someone else already has. If you do, for whatever insane reason, decide to play, continue reading. This will save your life.


	2. So, you started Sburb. AKA Fuck You.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You've ended the world. Good job. Here's how to save your ass.

So, you've ended the world. At least you've doomed it. You're seeing a game screen and wondering what to do. This chapter takes you through the opening steps of Sburb. (Good fucking job ending the world by the way)

You've inserted both client and server, you've connected to another player, all connections are made? You're good. Remember to insert both disks! This is uber important! **DO IT!**

Got everything done? Cool.

So the first thing you'll want to deploy [future Eclipse] -IN A CONVENIENT AREA- [/future] the Cruxtruder. It's the large white thing with the smokestack. Don't worry, it dosen't cost any grist. You're going to leave this for now. You're now going to put down the rest of the starting items, the Totem Lathe and the Alchemizer. [future] ALSO CONVENIENTLY. [/future] These will not cost any grist either. When you get these down, proceed.

Your server player has probably gotten these three down by now. You're going to hit the Cruxtruder on the smokestack. Hard.

Oh yeah, a timer will start, so be fast after this!

You're going to toss two items that you don't need into the flashing orb that came out. These objects will be your guide, so choose carefully! Next you grab the card that popped out and the cylinder, this is a cruxite dowel. You're going to put that and the card in the totem lathe and carve it. And finally, put the dowel on the pedastool on the Alchemetizer. Then your server player should accept the alchemizitation. 

Break this thing. Yes, you spent this long to make it. Now break it. WITH AN AXE!!!! (You don't really need an axe, just break it really.)  
You are on a planet. Welcome to the Medium.


End file.
